Mwakyembe kanusurika Mzinga wa namna hii...!!!

Gari aina ya Land Cruiser ambalo Mbunge wa Kyela Dr. Harrison Mwakyembe alimokuwa akisafiria kutoka Kyela kwenda jijini Dar es Salaam likiwa katika eneo lililopata ajali mkoani Iringa jana.... Kwa kweli mzinga adi cruiser katika hali hii inaonyesha kuwa ilikuwa moto chini kinoma...... Hivi ajali hizi za mara kwa mara kwa waheshimiwa hawa ni kutokana na mwendo kasi... ubovu wa magari... kutokuwa makini kwa madereva.... ama.....mkono...wa m2..!!?

Majambazi Dom wala Sh80

Polisi wakiwasili eneo la tukio muda mchache baada ya watu wanne kupora kiasi cha Sh80 toka kwa mfanyabiashara mwenye asili ya kiasia katika moja ya vituo vyake vya kuuza mafuta mjini Dodoma mwanzoni mwa wiki...
Hapa wakipata maelezo ya awali kutoka kwa watu walioshuhudia tukio hilo jinsi mchezo ulivyochezwa mchana majira ya saa sita hivi...
Hapa wakiangalia maganda ya risasi zilizofyatuliwa na majambazi hao ili kutisha wananchi wasilete longolongo....
Gari lililotumiwa na watu hao wanne wanaosadikiwa kuwa ni majambazi likiwa limetelekezwa eneo la makole mjini Dodoma....
Hapa mdosi aliyeporwa cash akipelekwa wodini kutoka chumba cha upasuaji katika hospitali ya mkoa alipopekekwa kwa matibabu baada ya kutwangwa shaba ya kisigini mguu wa kushoto.... mdodi mwenzie akiwaka kutotaka tukio hilo lisirekodiwe na kuwekwa katika kumbukumbu zatu....

Soka la Bongo

Wakati refa ukiboronga wachezaji wanakukoromea...... huku kwetu idodomya mashabiki ndo wanafanza kazi yao... refa unaletewa nyuki kibao uwanjani.... Taswira hiyo hapo juu ni wakati wa pambano la ligi kuu kati ya wenyeji Polisi na wakata miwa wa Mtibwa morogoro... nyuki walivamia uwanjani mara kadhaa na kufanya wachezaji pamoja na refa kulala chini au kuchukumaa kujinusuru wasijepatwa mandundu....

Different Dates

Different Dates

Hey guys, I don't agree with this one….but still funny..!!

WHITE WOMEN:

First date:

You get to kiss her goodnight.

Second date:

You get to grope all over and make out a bit.

Third date:

You get to have sex but only but only when

she wants to and only in the missionary position.

IRISH WOMEN:

First Date:

You both get blind drunk and have sex.

Second Date:

You both get blind drunk and have sex.

20th Anniversary:

You both get blind drunk and have sex.

ITALIAN WOMEN:

First Date:

You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.

Second Date:

You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti & meatballs.

Third Date:

You have sex, she wants to marry you & insists on a 3-carat ring.

5th Anniversary:

You already have 5 kids together & hate the thought of having sex.

6th Anniversary:

You find yourself a Mistress.

CHINESE WOMEN:

First date:

You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.

Second date:

You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens again.

Third date:

You don't even get to the third date and you've already realized nothing

is ever going to happen.

INDIAN WOMEN:

First date:

Meet her parents.

Second date:

Set the date of the wedding.

Third date:

Wedding night.

BLACK WOMEN:

First Date:

You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.

Second Date:

You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner.

Third Date:

You get to pay her rent.

Tenth Date:

She's pregnant by someone other than you.

MEXICAN WOMEN:

First Date:

You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Tequila, and have sex in

the back of her car.

Second Date:

She's pregnant.

Third Date:

She moves in. One week later, her mother, father, her

two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her grandma, her sister's boyfriend and his

three kids move in and you live on rice and beans for the rest of your life in your home that used to be nice, but now looks like a home along the Tijuana strip.

JEWISH WOMEN:

First Date:

You will have to spend all your money to impress

Second Date:

You will take a loan to keep the image

Third Date:

Your are broke, she finds someone wealthier

ARAB WOMEN:

First Date:

Mother, Father, Brothers, Sisters, Cousins, Aunts, Uncles, Friends and entire Arab community finds out.

Second Date:

Guy is shot dead.

No third date!!!

Hii imetoka kwa mdau Emma Ndossi aliyeko UK.. Shukran...

Njaa noma..!!!

wahudumu wa msosi katika sherehe moja hivi karibuni baada ya kubanwa na nenge waliamua kuanza kupata msosi kabla ya waalikwa wenginewe katika staili ambayo wasingeshtukiwa kirahisi....

Mafua ya ' Ze Hot-chair'

Ati huko kwa pharao wanataka angamiza hawa viumbe wa sir God bureee... wakati huku kwetu sie wala hatuna taaabu nao... tunawachunga malishoni kama hivi uonavyo.... afu baadaye twawapeleka kwa mpareee....!!!

Je waweza hiyo...??!!

Kidole hicho cha pua..... chafya za kufa mtu.....!!!!

Mazingaombwe au mazingara...??

Vijana wakifanza mazingaombwe wakidai ni waganga wa kienyeji (jadi) wenye uwezo wa kutatua shida na matatizo ya watu.... utapeli mtupu... watu kadhaa washalizwa kwa mtindo huo mjini Dom.